[Dualscar huffs a little, his gills glubbing softly] Maybe hatin' me is a good thing for him, evven if it's not returned. Hate is somethin' trolls do. It's a selfish feeling.
It may not be destructivve if it reminds him howw to feel somethin' for himself instead a just on behalf a someone he servves, or you. [Very quietly] But you're not the only one wwho doesn't knoww howw to fix him. Maybe he can't be helped. Wwhat's happened to him is beyond compare.
[He stiffens and cuddles Signless tightly, shooshing him and stroking his hair]
Don't... don't do this. He has already started improvvin', but wwhen you havve expectations that he can't fulfil, then you hurt both a you. He'll nevver be wwho he wwas, but he wwill be better.
[Fuck, that wasn't what Dualscar intended. He stiffens like a deer in headlights, then hastens to cuddle and stroke him, though he already was.]
No, no it wwasn't. It wwas my fault, o-our fault. The fault a Her an all a the highbloods wwho wwanted to keep their powwer an keep you dowwn. It wwasn't your fault at all!
[Signless is prepared to be insistent about this.]
I knew what he was, I knew what happened to trolls like him in the Empire... I just... I just never thought... I thought he would die before he'd let himself be captured...
[He hides his face, actively sobbing now.]
S-sometimes, I... I think it would be better... if he had died...
[Dualscar's arms tighten around him and he rocks in place, making awkward, reassuring noises. He fully believes that Signless is right - dying would have been a mercy]
But...but here he can livve a happy life. Maybe not a normal or perfect one, but still, it can be good. He seems happy enough, uh, most a the time, so you don't need to glub so much...
[Sorry, Dualscar, Signless just needs to cry himself out now, and that's exactly what he's going to do, staining the front of Dualscar's shirt and the water in the spa red.]
[Whether Dualscar realizes it or not, his awkward comfort helps Signless calm down, and he stops crying after a few minutes, his sobs trickling away into sniffling and then silence.]
A course you did. [He paps him lightly] It's a tragic situation. But it wwasn't awwkwward, I just... wwish I could a knowwn howw to make you feel better.
Wwell, I'm glad a that. [NO WAIT, that's not, what he meant--] Uh, I mean, I'm glad that you can talk to me, an a course I'll listen to wwhatevver you need to talk about. [Though really he meant that first thing, too...]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[Still, Signless is relieved. He didn't fancy having to find an auspitice for the two of them.]
I'll talk to him about this. I know you're making an effort to get along, and he needs to meet you halfway.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
He has to get better... he has to...
no subject
Don't... don't do this. He has already started improvvin', but wwhen you havve expectations that he can't fulfil, then you hurt both a you. He'll nevver be wwho he wwas, but he wwill be better.
no subject
[He slumps against Dualscar, and even though he's very quiet about it, it's obvious that he's crying.]
It's all my fault... what happened to him is all my fault...
no subject
No, no it wwasn't. It wwas my fault, o-our fault. The fault a Her an all a the highbloods wwho wwanted to keep their powwer an keep you dowwn. It wwasn't your fault at all!
no subject
[Signless is prepared to be insistent about this.]
I knew what he was, I knew what happened to trolls like him in the Empire... I just... I just never thought... I thought he would die before he'd let himself be captured...
[He hides his face, actively sobbing now.]
S-sometimes, I... I think it would be better... if he had died...
no subject
But...but here he can livve a happy life. Maybe not a normal or perfect one, but still, it can be good. He seems happy enough, uh, most a the time, so you don't need to glub so much...
no subject
no subject
no subject
Sorry.
no subject
You'vve got nothin' to apologize for.
no subject
[He sniffs one last time--a great, roaring honk for such a small troll--and lolls across Dualscar's lap, leaning his head on his shoulder.]
I guess... I just needed to get it out.
no subject
no subject
But you did.
no subject
no subject
[Signless leans back against him, limp and content.]
There isn't anyone else I can talk to about these things.
no subject