[IC Contact]

[devwocean]

You havve reached the personal vvoicemail a Orphaner Dualscar.
Leavve a message.

Comments

[withoutasign]

[Signless nods, and when he answers, his voice is small against Dualscar's chest.]

So do I.

[devwocean]

[Stroke, stroke... he rubs gently at Signless' scalp, trying to soothe him as best he can, though his own stomach is still twisting with anxiety.]

Is there anythin' I can do to help wwith the Darkleer an Psiioniic situation?

[withoutasign]

[Signless can feel the tension radiating off Dualscar, and he reaches up and strokes one fin. After a short time, he moves his head, looking up at the seadweller.]

No, I don't think so. But I'll let you know if I come up with anything.

[He smiles tiredly.]

Thanks for listening.

[devwocean]

[Dualscar manages a wan smile, but it doesn't last long. He nods and cuddles Signless close again.]

I'm alwways ready to listen.

[withoutasign]

Thank you.

[Signless stays quiet after that, stroking Dualscar's fins, lost in thought.]

You know... Psii is my oldest friend, but you're my moirail. I'm not pale for Psii.

[devwocean]

[Dualscar squirms just a bit]

I'm not tryin' to accuse you a anything, but it doesn't look all that different.

[withoutasign]

It is, though.

[Pap pap pap]

I tell you things I don't tell him; I depend on your counsel more.

I just wish the two of you got along better.

[devwocean]

[He starts a bit. He can totally believe that there are things that Signless can't tell Psiioniic, and that he can't really depend on Psiioniic's counsel, especially compared to Dualscar. And finally, he feels a great deal better]

I'm tryin' to get along wwith him. He's been comin' to me and I'vve been real kind - I swwear, as kind as I knoww howw to be. But it's not an easy thing for him to forgivve, I'm sure. He told me he hates me.

[withoutasign]

[Signless picks up on the change in Dualscar's mood, and he relaxes a little more himself.]

I know you are, and I really appreciate that. But.... hmmmmm.

[Pause]

Do you hate him back?

[devwocean]

No.

[The answer is without hesitation, and calm. He can't imagine Psiioniic as a rival to him. There's no way that Psiioniic could challenge him the way a kismesis must. And honestly, Psiioniic hasn't done anything to inspire hatred in Dualscar]

[withoutasign]

I didn't think so.

[Still, Signless is relieved. He didn't fancy having to find an auspitice for the two of them.]

I'll talk to him about this. I know you're making an effort to get along, and he needs to meet you halfway.

[devwocean]

[Dualscar huffs a little, his gills glubbing softly] Maybe hatin' me is a good thing for him, evven if it's not returned. Hate is somethin' trolls do. It's a selfish feeling.

[withoutasign]

It's selfish, but it's destructive. [Signless shrugs helplessly.] Sometimes, I really don't know how to help him.

[devwocean]

It may not be destructivve if it reminds him howw to feel somethin' for himself instead a just on behalf a someone he servves, or you. [Very quietly] But you're not the only one wwho doesn't knoww howw to fix him. Maybe he can't be helped. Wwhat's happened to him is beyond compare.

[withoutasign]

[Signless breathes in, a choked little gasp, and hides his face in Dualscar's chest. He starts shaking all over.]

He has to get better... he has to...

[devwocean]

[He stiffens and cuddles Signless tightly, shooshing him and stroking his hair]

Don't... don't do this. He has already started improvvin', but wwhen you havve expectations that he can't fulfil, then you hurt both a you. He'll nevver be wwho he wwas, but he wwill be better.

[withoutasign]

[That should be comforting. Normally, it would be. But it has been a long week, a stressful week, and Signless has reached his breaking point.]

[He slumps against Dualscar, and even though he's very quiet about it, it's obvious that he's crying.]

It's all my fault... what happened to him is all my fault...

[devwocean]

[Fuck, that wasn't what Dualscar intended. He stiffens like a deer in headlights, then hastens to cuddle and stroke him, though he already was.]

No, no it wwasn't. It wwas my fault, o-our fault. The fault a Her an all a the highbloods wwho wwanted to keep their powwer an keep you dowwn. It wwasn't your fault at all!

[withoutasign]

It was.

[Signless is prepared to be insistent about this.]

I knew what he was, I knew what happened to trolls like him in the Empire... I just... I just never thought... I thought he would die before he'd let himself be captured...

[He hides his face, actively sobbing now.]

S-sometimes, I... I think it would be better... if he had died...

[devwocean]

[Dualscar's arms tighten around him and he rocks in place, making awkward, reassuring noises. He fully believes that Signless is right - dying would have been a mercy]

But...but here he can livve a happy life. Maybe not a normal or perfect one, but still, it can be good. He seems happy enough, uh, most a the time, so you don't need to glub so much...

[withoutasign]

[Sorry, Dualscar, Signless just needs to cry himself out now, and that's exactly what he's going to do, staining the front of Dualscar's shirt and the water in the spa red.]

[devwocean]

[And Dualscar is just going to go on desperately and helplessly trying to comfort him until he's cried all of his tears]

[withoutasign]

[Whether Dualscar realizes it or not, his awkward comfort helps Signless calm down, and he stops crying after a few minutes, his sobs trickling away into sniffling and then silence.]

Sorry.

[devwocean]

[Dualscar is definitely relieved when Signless starts to calm down, and he relaxes a bit as the silence descends.]

You'vve got nothin' to apologize for.

[withoutasign]

I know that was awkward.

[He sniffs one last time--a great, roaring honk for such a small troll--and lolls across Dualscar's lap, leaning his head on his shoulder.]

I guess... I just needed to get it out.